🧘 Overview
Parenting can bring up more than just sleepless nights and snack crumbs — it can surface your own unmet needs, wounds, and memories. When your child cries, rebels, or seeks comfort, it might awaken parts of yourself that were ignored, silenced, or shamed.
You’re not just raising a child — you’re often re-raising the child you once were.
🧠 What Is “Inner Child Work”?
Your inner child is the part of you that:
- Still remembers how it felt to be dismissed or misunderstood
- Longs to be seen, soothed, or celebrated
- Reacts with deep emotion when your child does something triggering
- Often speaks through fear, avoidance, perfectionism, or people-pleasing
Healing means meeting your inner child with the love you may not have received.
🔁 Common Triggers for Parents
- When your child “talks back” or says no
- Tantrums and big emotions
- Feeling like you’re not in control
- Watching your child get the support you didn’t have
- Feeling guilt for not knowing how to respond calmly
A parenting trigger isn’t a flaw — it’s an invitation to heal.
🛠️ Gentle Practices to Start Healing
- When triggered, ask: “What does this remind me of from my childhood?”
- Give your inner child compassion: “You were doing your best, too.”
- Say the words you needed to hear as a child — now, to yourself
- Let yourself feel — cry, write, or talk about it
- Notice your patterns (yelling, withdrawing, over-controlling) and get curious, not ashamed
💬 Reparenting Yourself in Real-Time
Try phrases like:
- “I’m learning to respond, not react.”
- “My child is not responsible for fixing how I was raised.”
- “I’m not failing — I’m just facing something old.”
- “Every moment is a new chance to show up differently.”
❤️ Reminder
- Your healing is not about blaming your parents — it’s about breaking cycles
- You’re allowed to feel grief, even if your childhood “wasn’t that bad”
- The more gently you hold your own pain, the more safely your child can express theirs
- You are worthy of the same love, patience, and care you give your child
📚 Sources
- Dr. Nicole LePera. How to Do the Work
- Dr. Shefali Tsabary. The Conscious Parent
- The Gottman Institute. “Parenting Through the Lens of Your Own Childhood”